bas·tard

-noun
1. slang. a. a vicious, despicable, or thoroughly disliked person: ‘some bastard ransomed my battleship’.

b. a person, esp. a man: ‘the dirty bastard blew up our ship’.

-adjective
2. something irregular, inferior, spurious, or unusual: ‘what is this bastard thing?’
3. of abnormal or irregular shape or size; of unusual make or proportions: ‘bastard sized 425mm AC’; ‘bastard blasters’;’ bastard pewpew lasers’.
4. having the appearance of; resembling in some degree: ‘a bastard pirate’; ‘bastard eye patch’; ‘a bastard parrot’; ‘a bastard pegleg’; ‘bastard grog’.

meat·shield

-noun

1. Ship or Pilot which obstructs the passage of incoming fire from its intended destination: ‘Some meatshield stopped me shooting a Bastard!’

2. Ship or Pilot who serves no purpose other than to sacrifice himself for the greater good: ‘Was a TARP, but at least I killed the meatshield’.

-attributive adjective

3. A desirable property for a noun: ‘Meatshield Bastard, nature’s kevlar for us pirates!’